Baby

Posted December 13th, 2004 by Sean Williams

My friends had a baby over the weekend, by which I mean she spent the entire weekend in labor and then had a baby. I almost don’t know what to say about it. These are two of the greatest people I know, independent of being beautiful to one another. I’ve also known them almost since they started dating 12 years ago, so it’s exciting to be even on the periphery.

During rehearsal the other day, I had a run-in with one of the kids and I am so completely not used to disciplining anyone. In my world, kids either behave or they get fired. Sure, they don’t learn as much, but I am of the opinion that if you are pursuing art and you have no discipline and no taste for self motivation then you aren’t going to be successful anyway. Stopping a kid from pursuing art is better for them and for the world in the long run.

But in this instance, I had to discipline this kid. I couldn’t beleive how mad I got and how quickly. I don’t know what kind of father I’m going to be, but it’s good that I have some time to think it through.

I was just going through some of my old music files for the show I’m writing now and I came across several obtusely marked files. Things like “Coolness in D” and “12/8 thingie”. So I opened them and I came across two files that were the infant ideas of the title song we ended up writing for the show. It’s a song we’re all really proud of, the lyrics are great and the groove really works.

But I stumbled on the embryoes in two different files that ended up being married to one another and for some reason I found it really touching. These little ideas that actually aren’t anything alone, we nurtured them, we sorta gave them a chance. We’ve written a bunch of stuff for this show and I’ve come up with a *lot* of crap. I’ve written a lot of music that I never even showed my partners. But this little tune stuck in my craw and I married it to a different little piece of music and brought it out.

Again, I don’t know what kind of father I’ll be. I’m not sure if I will be overly angry – frustrated and violent, I just don’t know. I could be overly sentimental, keeping bad drawings in boxes for years and years. I wonder if I will look back on the smallest accomplishments and attach huge meaning to them the way I do to my own life.

In any case, to those of you just becoming fathers, good on ya. Keep a brave face and let me know what to do when you say, “stop doing that” and they, while still doing it, say, “I’m not doing that.” Let me know how to fix the crazy before I have to. I’d appreciate it.